Jingle hell - a cautionary Christmas tale

Somewhere in an office near you….

Mid-September - Office Christmas party invitation received today. Really? Christmas already? It was January just a few weeks ago. Speaking of which… still time to complete this year’s resolutions: lose 10kg (that ought to get me back into my Christmas sweater) and clear e-mail to zero. It’s doable! Enter dates to calendar.

15 Nov – Shops and radios start to play Christmas music. What a wonderful time of year!

20 Nov – Enough with the Christmas music already.

21 Nov – Target weight +11kg. Whoops. Think about thinking about starting diet.

25 Nov – Black Friday tomorrow, clear e-mails while colleagues out.

26 Nov – Email @ 15,543. Delete all Black Friday notifications. Email @ 9,543. Good start.

1 Dec – 25 days to Christmas! Ack! Eat all advent calendar chocolates.

2 Dec – Check weight. Target +12kg. Add new action to @Computer list – R+D weight loss plans.

3 Dec – No sugar in my tea today. Diet on track.

4 Dec – Oohhhh. Mince pies. One can’t hurt, it’s Christmas. Okay, just one more – they make them ever so small these days.

6 Dec – First Christmas card received. How lovely. Must send Christmas cards this year.

7 Dec – Big e-mail push. Highlight everything prior to Jan 1. Delete. Down to 1,533. Coming along nicely.

11 Dec – Mince pies – I can’t move for mince pies. They are everywhere.

12 Dec – More Christmas cards. Great. Must add these folks to my list. Where does anyone find the time to write these things?

14 Dec – Create folder ‘Old e-mails’. Push in everything prior to Nov. No one will see them there. Down to 509!

15 Dec – Must start Christmas shopping. What to buy?

16 Dec – Shopping dilemma resolved: everyone’s getting gift certificates. Whatever. It’s the thought that counts.

17 Dec – Guilt ridden. Go online, buy expensive gifts for above. They’re worth it.

18 Dec – Do not check credit card balances. Do not check credit card balances.

19 Dec – Cards! Must write Christmas cards. OMG, do I need a break!

20 Dec – Office partay! New Christmas jumper from secret Santa. Too small again. Who do they make these things for, elves??

21 Dec – Hangover. Uugh. Deadline for sending cards today. Hmmm… fortunately, no year mentioned in the ones I bought. No loss, re-purpose for next year.

22 Dec – Target +13kg. These scales are definitely broken.  

23 Dec – Work late, shooting off every email possible. So much to do – can’t possibly take a break.

24 Dec – Last minute emailing on mobile. Under 100! Nearly there.

25 Dec – Presents, food, champagne, food, presents, food, wine. Loosen belt on trousers. Okay, just a tiny sliver more pudding. Starting diet again on the first.

26 Dec – Turkey sandwich. Check weight loss plans online. Resist urge to check work emails.

27 Dec – Turkey sandwich. Break down and check work emails. Who sends work e-mails at this time of year?

28 Dec - Turkey sandwich. Do not check work emails or credit card balance. Target +15kg. Time for new scales.

29 Dec - Does this turkey smell funny to you?  

31 Dec – Celebrate NYE! Go big or stay home (diet starts tomorrow!).

1 Jan – Hangover. Avoid scales, join gym. Must start as we mean to go on.  

2 Jan – Scour newspapers for diet plans. Starting to enjoy holidays now. Too bad it’s time to go…

3 Jan –  …back to work. 500 unread emails in inbox. Panic! Delete diet and January sales notifications. Down to 50. Phew.

5 Jan – Start to look forward to year ahead. I can’t wait until next Christmas!

6 Jan – Target +16kg. Think about thinking about using gym membership. I’ll get there by Easter. Ooooh! Easter eggs!

Wishing all our clients, partners and friends a much less stressful and far more enjoyable Christmas!